Nancy Mae Wilder

Nancy Mae Tuck was born on October 10, 1947 in Seattle, WA to Marvin Allen Tuck and Maxine Marie Shallow. Her father was a warrant officer in the Army and died during the Korean War, when she was only three years old. Her mother, who died of breast cancer in April 1989, was determined to raise Nancy and sister Eileen independently, and found herself a job as a keypunch operator at Seattle City Light.

Nancy grew up in the Seattle neighborhood of Ballard, spending much of her childhood going between her mother's home and her grandparents' house that had been built during the Depression and added onto as needed. She was a huge fan of the Beatles and even served as president of a Beatles Fan Club as a teenager. She met her childhood best friend Jacquie in gym class the day her mother was having surgery and she was upset that she wasn't allowed to be at the hospital, and Jacquie gave her a hard time about her sad face. She loved retelling this story to her daughters. She graduated from Ballard High School in 1966. She was thrilled to attend her 50th high school reunion with Jacquie just a few years ago.

She met her husband, Allen Scott Wilder (who went by Scott), while roller skating in Seattle with a friend. Scott was chasing her friend and Nancy tripped him to get him to stop. After the roller skating rink closed, Nancy was still sitting outside on her skate case. He offered her a ride home, and she declined, saying her mother was on her way to pick her up. When it became evident that she wasn’t coming, Scott offered again and she agreed with the caveat that he'd have to come inside to meet her mother, thinking this would make him change his mind. It didn't, and when he brought her home, he came in and chatted with her mother long into the evening to Nancy's surprise. Scott and Nancy married on November 10, 1967, less than a year later, in her grandparents' home in Ballard. Her friend Jacquie was her maid of honor. Nancy's wedding dress was made by her mother, and she was cremated in this dress per her wishes because she loved it so.

Scott was in the Navy, so they moved all around the country while he was on active duty, being stationed in Rhode Island and California. They welcomed their first daughter, Phyllis, in Oakland, California in January 1976. They were happy to be sent back to Washington State, where their youngest daughter, Patricia ("Trish") was born in March 1979. Scott chose to retire from active duty once Trish was born and they originally settled in Federal Way, and moved to Belfair once Scott was hired at the Puget Sound Naval Shipyard.

Apparently Nancy never learned to cook before she got married, and Scott would joke that he had to teach her, because otherwise she'd burn boiled water. She never minded the jokes that her family made. She regularly undercooked meals and would finish them in the microwave to much laughing.

Nancy also never learned to drive. She thought it was a hilarious story that she took driver's ed three times before they threw their hands up and gave her money back. Scott tried to teach her and also gave up after she drove into their garage door. She happily took the bus and walked everywhere, covering many miles in a day. Many people knew her and would stop to give her a ride if they saw her walking on the side of the road.

They built their home in Port Orchard that Nancy lived in up until her death. She met her best friend, Allyn Hamblin, while the whole neighborhood was building their homes together. Allyn was a great comfort to her and was indispensible in taking her to doctor's appointments, providing a shoulder to lean on for her and her girls, and being just like a sister to her.

Once they moved to Port Orchard, Nancy immediately began volunteering multiple days a week in the library at Manchester Elementary and volunteered there long after her children graduated from high school. She was very proud of her contribution and delighted in helping to do inventory at the end of the school year as well as setting up for the next. She received the Apple Award twice from Manchester Elementary as recognition for her volunteer service. She last served hours in the 2018-19 school year, meaning she had volunteered for a total of 36 years.

Nancy was a voracious reader and loved watching movies. She enjoyed trips to Hawaii with her mother and visiting her sister Eileen's home in Texas. She was happiest when spending time with family and friends. She and Scott provided a loving childhood for their daughters and the family spent a lot of time together. She especially enjoyed road trips and going on day outings to Northwest Trek and Mount Rainier.

She began selling Avon in the 1990s and enjoyed stocking up on new products, or keeping her regular customers' favorite products on hand so they didn't need to wait for an order to be delivered. She was an "Avon Lady" up until her battle with cancer.

She and Scott were lucky enough to celebrate 30 years of marriage before he passed away from cancer in March of 1998. While he was in the nursing home for six months before his passing, Nancy visited him all day, every day. When asked what her main mission in life was, she said that she had always wanted to be a mother and a homemaker, and was so proud of the two daughters she had raised.

Nancy was an incredibly giving person. She was humble and kind, and disliked being the center of attention. She loved to shop, but was happiest when she was buying gifts for someone else. She had a good memory; if you mentioned once that you were looking for something specific, the next time she was shopping she would remember and surprise you with it. She could remember the birthdates of everyone in her own family as well as her close friends', and was always ready with a gift. She avoided conflict and would rarely voice her opinion if she disagreed with you. She was a very empathetic person as well; when her daughters cried, she cried with them. She loved cats, especially the last two cats she had, Baby and Lucy. She asked for very little in life and had a huge heart. She loved to laugh. Her daughters' friends remember her as a kind person who welcomed them to her house for sleepovers and parties.

Nancy had always been a healthy person - she never smoked a day in her life, and her daughters can remember her taking a sip of alcohol maybe three times. She had a scare with melanoma in 2016 but survived it, only to be diagnosed with pancreatic cancer less than a year ago. She was determined to beat it and live for another 10 years, and threw herself into treatment. Sadly, chemotherapy and radiation took its toll and she was unable to continue. She stopped treatment in October and only lived less than two more months.

She will continue to live on in her daughters and she is well remembered by the staff and a generation of students at Manchester Elementary. She leaves a legacy of kindness and taught others how to be a good friend. She will be greatly missed by her family and friends, but we can be grateful she is no longer suffering.

Nancy didn't like those she loved to be sad, and she wanted her life to be celebrated. She requested to have a simple graveside service, which is just like her, because she didn’t like to be the center of attention. She also requested that attendees wear bright colors instead of black because she wanted them to focus on happier times.

A few days before she passed, Nancy kept telling Trish that her mama was here. When asked where, she pointed to the corner of her room, and said that Scott was there, too. When her daughter said she couldn't see them, Nancy replied that of course she couldn't; they were here for her. We can be comforted in knowing that she is at last with her loved ones.